100 % Weaned !!!!

So the day is finally here.... the day I say a long goodbye to the 1.5 yrs of an exclusive bond that me and Anvesha shared. As I type, my heart is filled with mixed feelings as nursing for me was more than just providing nourishment for my baby. I often nursed for comfort and despite of what friends and relatives said, I continued to nurse past 6 months. I had, in my mind set a limit of an year to start weaning. But it was difficult than I imagined it to be- it required a lot of time and patience. Anvesha showed no signs to stop nursing and so I had to wean her very gradually. Sometimes it was the sick days and sometimes it was the teething that added a speed breaker to the weaning process. It was getting harder for me as nursing takes up a lot of calories and I constantly felt weak and tired.

I wanted to go gradually and not stop abruptly as this would be very traumatic for Anvesha. So, here's what I did ever since Anvesha turned one:

• Don't offer, don't refuse: Since Anvesha is very attached to me, I never intended to go cold turkey when it came to weaning her. So I held back from offering her a feed and at the same time didn't refuse when she asked for one. This works pretty well in the initial stages of the mother led weaning.

• Skip a feed: I skipped one feed at a time during the day each week and for several weeks. Morning and night feeds are usually the last ones to go, so I did not bother about them initially. As a substitute, I offered her a healthy snack or whole milk  so that she remains full. This was so gradual that it gave her time to adjust.

• Distract: I postponed the day time feeding sessions and often distracted Anvesha if she got really upset. I often times took her out for a walk or read her a book, soon she forgot about it and was back to her usual self

• Shorten the nursing time: I gradually started limiting the nursing time. It was confusing for Anvesha initially, but eventually she got a hang of it.

• Cold Turkey:  Here's the tough part- Anvesha was completely weaned off during the day as it was much easier to distract her.The night time feeds, the morning feed and the bed time feed were so hard to give up and I was left with no choice than to go cold turkey. It was so difficult to have a stone heart and refuse her all together. She used to cry and whine and I constantly kept repeating to her that she is a big girl- its night time- she don't need me to fall asleep. The first day was the toughest. She cried for almost an hour and a half and eventually went off to sleep. I followed the same thing for the night time feeds and for the morning feed, Prateek pitched in to distract her. But this did not end abruptly- like all other feeds it was dropping one feed at a time each week.

So it took me exact six months to wean her off completely.This has been a gradual transition and Anvesha now sleeps for longer stretches at night. She does wake up once, but goes back to sleep after a cuddle and a hug from me.  I am now left with mixed emotions about letting go. Some part of me experiences this as a loss.  Suddenly Anvesha looks like a big girl to me. Please baby !!!! please don't grow up so fast :(

But I guess a  part of loving our child is grieving as she moves from one stage to the other, and we as parents need to honor that grief.