Spring is here !!!!

We've spent most of our winter indoors looking at nature through the window and wishing for an early spring. Now that spring is 'officially here', its our chance to go outside and experience it first hand. We take a simple walk for granted until its too cold and rainy outside and with small kids it gets so so difficult to engage them in any sort of indoor activities. Anvesha brings her shoes asking us to put them on for her and drags us to the main door, indicating that she wants to go outside :) Poor baby !!! little does she know that we cant go out in the cold, rainy afternoons.

Iam personally very fond of flowers ( who isn't ?) and its a delight to see cherry blossom trees all around the place these days. This week we were lucky enough to see some daffodils bloom in the spring and we took advantage of it and spent  some good time outside. Weekend was spent in Portland and Anvesha enjoyed being out, ran all around the place with her ball and didnt want to come back home. Here are some of this week's pics.

We look forward to more of such delightful colors that spring has to offer and welcome it with open arms !!!!! 

Happy Spring 2014 !!!

Here's a poem, " To Daffodils" by Robert Herrick that has stayed with me from my school days, which I think is  very appropriate to this particular post.

"Fair Daffodils, we weep to see
You haste away so soon;
As yet the early-rising sun
Has not attain'd his noon.
Stay, stay,
Until the hasting day
Has run
But to the even-song;
And, having pray'd together, we
Will go with you along.

We have short time to stay, as you,
We have as short a spring;
As quick a growth to meet decay,
As you, or anything.
We die
As your hours do, and dry
Away,
Like to the summer's rain;
Or as the pearls of morning's dew,
Ne'er to be found again."

The Dark Side of Motherhood

All right, so this post is more like a vent post and I don't mean to discourage new moms or soon to be moms, or even bleakly sound positive. So far I have mentioned about the good part of becoming a mom, life as a stay at home mom..... but hey!!! there's other side of the coin too.

Its 8 AM.... Anvesha wakes up and just wants to be held (only by me), she has been super clingy for whatever reason, refusing to eat. While I need to get the household chores done before Prateek leaves for work, Anvesha would just not let me work at all and follows me everywhere. I somehow manage to get some tasks done, gobbling some instant breakfast meals while holding Anvesha. God bless the instant meals concept !!! Too tired to hold her anymore, I end up putting on her favorite rhymes so as to get her down to sit in one place. I hate treating television as a baby sitter, but this is my last resort.

Fast forward... its 12.30 PM now and I have finally managed to get her to sleep after hours of whining. I sit down in front of my laptop and begin to write. I look around me - at the unopened book that I wanted to read but haven't managed to so far, my to do list which is becoming longer and longer, and finally the lukewarm cup of "adrak ki chai" which I wanted to drink while it was still hot... too tired to get up, I gulp it anyways.

These days the success of my day is determined more by whether Anvesha finishes her meals, how much she naps and how much of the household chores Iam able to finish on time. Its so easy to fall into the trap of counting all the wrong things, that Iam forgetting what motherhood really is.... Squeezing out time for myself is a major challenge these days..... I need some pampering, some ME time :(

How many times have I swept the kitchen floor, how many times have I cleaned the carpet stains, how many times have I stepped over that particular toy, how many times have I cleared the tit bits of Anvesha's leftovers, how many times have I raised my voice? My equation of motherhood seems to be always unbalanced. No matter how hard I try, Iam always at the losing end and the more I think about it, the more overwhelmed, hopeless, frustrated and uncertain I get. But you know what, motherhood cannot be quantified and children aren't equations and my purpose is definitely not to solve my domestic life as a complex maths equation. My purpose is to extend grace, plant love in the hearts of people I love most.

I should rather focus on what is going right in order to feel better. I know today I haven't been able to meet any of the standards I have set for myself, but who said motherhood would be a rosy picture? Whenever Iam feeling low in times like these, i see all of Anvesha's pictures and old videos and that makes me feel better.

A beautiful mess !!

The organized side of me would hate to see the messy house that I live in these days ; correction-  "beautiful messy house". This is my life now- a beautiful mess. Despite my best efforts, its crazy and unorganized. Its just way too stressful to keep my house perfectly neat at this stage of my life, its just next to impossible. Iam inherently an organized person, but from the time Anvesha has gained mobility, she has ganged up against me and turned my house crazy :) She'll un spool rolls of toilet paper, empty out kitchen & the bedside drawers, knock glasses off the table. to keep my sanity, I sometimes take her out for a walk or to kids' play areas nearby, but have to limit the outdoor activity these days as it rains crazily in Seattle. 

Here's a poem I came across somewhere and wanted to share here

slow down mummy, there is no need to rush,
slow down mummy, what is all the fuss?
slow down mummy, make yourself a cup of tea.
slow down mummy, come spend some time with me.

slow down mummy, let's pull boots on for a walk,
let's kick at piles of leaves, and smile and laugh and talk.
slow down mummy, you look ever so tired,
come sit and snuggle under the duvet, and rest with me a while.

slow down mummy, those dirty dishes can wait,
slow down mummy, let's have some fun - bake a cake!
slow down mummy, I know you work a lot,
but sometimes mummy, it's nice when you just stop.

sit with us a minute,
and listen to our day,
spend a cherished moment,
because our childhood won't stay!

One day my house will be in shape again, the closets will be organized and things will be in place, but as of now I have stopped sweating over it. This is just a phase and shall pass too !!